Betes Girl

My name is Lacey and obviously yes, I have diabetes. Up until now I have been very quiet about my diabetes in the virtual world, I do not post about in on facebook and sometimes dislike even talking about it. I am not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me or think diabetes defines who I am, it is simply a part of who I am. My goal with this blog is to show how I live as a 24yr old type1 diabetic. This does not mean this is how all people live with their diabetes, just me. Most importantly I have learned talking about all of the ups and downs helps and is somewhat therapeutic.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Explanations and Understandings

In the Summer of 2005 I was introduced to a little girl that changed my life forever, little miss Lydi was just one year old when my Aunt and Uncle adopted her from China.  I was 17 when we flew to China to get her.  Up until then I was the youngest grandchild on my mother's side of the family, I instantly fell in love with our little blessing counting down days until I would get to see her.

Lydi and I the first year we had her. 


A couple years later when I was in College my Aunt and Uncle adopted another little girl just over a year old from India named Samantha.  Sadly I was unable to go with them to get her but have adored her since the first day I met her in the Summer of 2008.

Sam when we first got her


The year I was diagnosed as a diabetic, I spend darn near the entire summer before staying with them.  As I have stated before that was probably one of the most amazing summer's of my life.  I was with a good guy that adored the girls as much as I did and had a best friend that even babysat my little cousins when I was out of town.  It truly seemed as if I had everything I could ever want in life but me being me was still not happy, I was a recent college graduate and did not get that "dream job" everyone counts on after graduation.  Instead I had three mediocre jobs that were not near my guy, best friend or girls.  By the end of the summer I let two of my jobs go and kept one full time job to make life a little easier.  What I loved most about that summer was the constant go.  My friends and I would go to the movies constantly (I LOVE GOING TO THE MOVIES!) Lydi played t-ball which my friends and I attended together, and even the guy I was with played baseball (which is also my favorite sport/summer past time) so the girls would go with me to his games, best summer ever... yes!  Fall came and I was still stuck in Medicine Lodge and as I stated before in my very first post, the guy I was with and I ended things right before my diagnoses.   You could say that great summer came to a very screeching halt!

My College Graduation Day!!


That fall and beginning of Winter were pretty much miserable, I was moody beyond belief, angry, sad, and literally sick.  I would still go visit the girls they were about the only thing I looked forward to anymore.  I still continued to remain friends with the guy ( I hate the words x it sounds so terrible...) I hadn't told him about the life changing day in November which really wasn't fair but his mom is a diabetic and I knew he would understand I just for some reason wanted to be perfect in his eyes, which I was far from lol I finally broke down and told him and he was super supportive, his mom even offered to talk with me about it, I was just still in some denial and just wanted it to go away.  I feel like I should explain what ended up happening to "us" long story short, we saw each other less and less and eventually he moved on as did I, I always thought we would remain friends but that is in a perfect world.  In reality we are no longer even facebook friends and I have to ask my aunt about him.  He is now married and happier than I could have ever made him.  I am thankful to have gotten to have him in my life as long as I did and will always cherish the friendship we had.  Do I think Diabetes ruined this relationship? lol No, pretty sure I managed to do that all on my own, granted the unknown moodiness couldn't help any situation let alone a relationship.

Us three at the park!

At first it was easy hiding my disease from Sam and Lydi, to them nothing seemed different than normal.  I remember one day I was with Lydia and she wanted to share a soda, she decided upon a coke which was not going to happen for me, so I bought her a coke and got myself a diet soda.  On the way home she kept asking me why I couldn't drink her drink.  I finally told her that regular soda has a lot of sugar in it and that my body is different than a lot of people's and can't have sugar.  I remember looking in the rearview mirror as her mouth dropped open saying "YOU CAN'T HAVE CANDY!?" It really was cute, I told her no that I have to watch very carefully what I eat.  Lydi is a very smart now almost 8yr old and asked tons of questions.  Sam never noticed much difference than I was "smaller" when she hugged me and not as "fluffy" when I would hold her.  That Spring we had a slumber party and stayed in a hotel together and that was the first time they saw me give myself a shot.  They made it seem "cool." Sam kept saying "I wanna see, move over" She asked me if I had to do that everyday and I told her yes, but just once a day.  (Which at that point it was)

My beautiful Girlies Easter Sunday!


That Summer Lydia turned 6 and had a pool party, my previous guy friend was invited and that was the last time I saw him.  I was angry with him and never spoke a word to him.  This was the weekend before I was to see my specialist and wanted so badly to talk to him about it, but as far as we both were concerned things ended long before this point.  That weekend as I stated in previous posts was my last "hoorah" which ended with me staying in Wichita, with extremely high blood sugars.  The only thing other than the hospital that would bring them down was fluids.  I could hardly get out of the bed and Lydia took great care of me, she kept bringing me bottled water and "checking on me" Literally one of the sweetest and smartest 7 year olds ever!

At Lydia's Pool Party



Now that I am on insulin and take multiple multiple shots a day the girls are used to it.  They even call me out when I am eating something bad, its kinda funny actually.  One day I was downstairs with them playing and could feel a low coming on I didn't want to scare them so I just slowly stood up and started up the stairs where all of my medicines were.  I started climbing them and got so light headed that I ended up crawling the rest of the way.  I had a blood sugar of 60 or something.  I started with a glass of juice then a piece of candy.  Lydia came upstairs and started in on me for eating the candy, I tried to explain to her that I have to when I have too much insulin in my body.  She stated very simply that "it's just so confusing LuLu"  I laughed and told her no one could have said it better... Now at meals Sam shouts (she doesn't just talk, she talks loud) "LuLu are you going to poke yourself with a needle now? and can I watch?" Earlier this week she stood on her chair at Panera while we were at lunch and goes "Hey everybody, LuLu..." at which point I grabbed her and made her sit down and be quiet.  I love how "cool" she thinks it is and just wants everyone to know.

Sammi's Always a Little Crazy!

It depends on the age of the ears when it comes to explaining this disease, family is always sorry and understanding, children see it in the simplest way as diabetes is when you have to poke your finger and give yourself shots, and friends are sometimes the best ones to just be there, they have no clue what it is like for you everyday personally but they try there best to give advice which can be helpful and annoying at the same time.  I became very attached to the people that were there for me when I was first diagnosed and will always be grateful that they were/are a part of my life. 
We Love Our Silly Faces!!
My cousins and I just Monday.  Sam came running into my room (I have my own room at their house for when I visit) and was giggling saying "I'm like you LuLu" She had a plastic thing pointing it at her stomach I looked at Lydi questionably, soon Lydi goes "She's trying to be like you and give herself a shot in the stomach with her toy shot from her Dr. kit, and SAM  I told you not to take that shot till dinner!" HILARIOUS!